Copyright of Elainea Emmott Photography

Stories from the Spectrum: Wesley and Elainea

We know 99% of people have heard of autism but only 16% of autistic people feel the public understand them.

During World Autism Awareness Week 2020, we are interviewing autistic people and their families about how they experience feeling intense anxiety in social situations, needing extra time to process information and instructions, communication difficulties, anxiety around unexpected change or sensory sensitivities with sound smell, light, taste and touch – the five biggest things autistic people and their families told our charity they most wanted the public to know about autism.

Our charity also asked autistic people, their families and carers to tell us how they are responding to the coronavirus (Covid-19) outbreak during this difficult and unprecedented time. For the National Autistic Society’s latest guidance and advise about autism and coronavirus (Covid-19), visit our dedicated resources webpages.

Meet Wesley Emmott, an autistic writer who loves to cook and his mum Elainea Emmott, food photographer, and regular on Channel 4 cookery competition Crazy Delicious, judged by Heston Blumenthal.

Wesley and Elainea tell us about how they set up their supper club, Our Seat, Our Table, to reduce social isolation in their local community…

Elainea, why did you seek an autism diagnosis for Wesley?

I could see Wesley needed extra support and I really wanted him to enjoy school and get the most out of it because he was such a bright boy. I knew he wasn’t being supported and it was becoming quite a stressful situation as, at the time, Wesley couldn’t explain to me why he found school so stressful.

Wesley, looking back, what did you find stressful about the classroom environment?

People were always talking over the teacher, which would make it difficult to concentrate.

How did you start cooking together?

Elainea: Wesley and I have always cooked together and he is the baker in the house, but I took it more seriously just before he moved away to university because I wanted to make sure he was cooking well. It was a way for us to communicate through food.

Wesley: I used to cook a lot of pasta, but before I went to uni I really kicked it up a notch and started being more adventurous with my cooking. I sometimes cook for my university flatmates.I don’t believe in wasting food, so I often share what I make, like lemon cake with poppy seeds. My flatmates were quite amazed by it as some of them hadn’t cooked lots before or tried their hand at more advanced dishes, but I think it’s something fun to do.

Elainea, talk us through your time on Crazy Delicious…

Crazy Delicious is a cookery competition judged by chefs Heston Blumenthal, Carla Hall and Niklas Ekstedt. The producers scouted me from my food Instagram and then sent me a message. I called them and realised it was real! They asked me to audition. Sitting next to other people in the audition process, I realised the other candidates had three or four months to prepare their dishes whereas mine were thought up the night before. I made sweet potato ice-cream and chocolate and mackerel dumplings. It was an interesting taste — I would never have thought to combine those two things and it was a scary risk, but I don’t believe you go in front of someone like Heston Blumenthal and serve avocado on toast!

Tell us about your supper club, Our Seat, Our Table, and the impact it’s having on your community…

Elainea: When I moved to London, I was a fashion designer. I had a pattern cutting table made out of old oak railway sleepers, which is where Wesley and I are sitting during this interview. When Wesley was growing up, we were quite isolated and people never offered to come round. And so, really happily, we got on with our own stuff. After Crazy Delicious, I wanted people to have a seat at our table to talk about anything, like autism or music or mental health, while having a great meal, or to host people to speak from their own experiences. I wanted it to feel inspiring. I’m one of the original members of Women’s March London and as a photographer and activist I have the privilege of meeting amazing people.

I learned one person can set up a small movement that has a massive impact, but listening to people speak, I feel there is a tendency to think ‘this is very inspiring, but what can I do?’ So, I wanted to create the supper club for people with big dreams or people who don’t know what their dreams are — a place for people to be inspired to be themselves and not feel pressured.

Wesley, what is feeling intense anxiety in social situations like for you as an autistic person?

Wesley: Socialising can feel tense, like speaking is a gamble. Even if I say something that does contribute to a conversation, I’m worried I might say it in a way people won’t understand, which makes me want to shut up and not say anything else, or sit quietly. The supper club has certainly given me different ways to contribute socially and emotionally and made me feel more confident, not only through cooking but opening up conversations through food.

Elainea: Wesley and I were cooking 14 dishes yesterday for two clients and cooking so much at once can feel incredibly stressful. I gave Wesley the recipe for vegetable biryani because we were running out of time, and Wesley just took over even though neither of us had cooked a biryani before. I know I can trust him to think about taste, planning and presentation as we work together so well in the kitchen. Wesley has also worked in one of the oldest bakeries in Soho and we both have lots of experience prepping and serving meals for local homeless charities. There was a time when he would not have been so confident to work in teams, which can be stressful, and put the work in to produce amazing results. I am very proud of him.