Celebrating Pride Month with...Cheryl

To mark Pride Month, we interviewed Cheryl, autistic person, nurse and social media influencer. They chatted to us about their mental health struggles before being diagnosed, how they express themselves through sensory activities and stimming, and how LGBTQ+ events can be more inclusive for autistic people.

 

When were you diagnosed as autistic and what is being autistic like for you?

I was diagnosed as autistic aged 22 after spending a lot of my teen years struggling with my mental health and feeling that I didn’t really relate to my friends. 

Being autistic to me means I experience the world differently to other people. To function, I need a clear routine every single day. I like to plan out my week in advance and if my plans change, especially last minute, I can become really distressed and find it hard to move past that moment. 

Sensory-wise, I love bright colours. They make me feel happy and connected to the world which is why I often wear brightly-coloured outfits. However, busy environments, loud sounds and bright lights can cause me to experience sensory overload. This is where I become upset and panicky and often have to leave the situation which is distressing me. 

As an autistic person, I often want to socialise but socialising for too long or attending big social events can be overwhelming. This makes me feel lonely because I want to socialise but it’s hard finding the right balance and a social environment which works for me. One thing I’ve learnt since being diagnosed is my life needs balance! I like to have structure and to be busy but I must remember to set aside recharge days too, otherwise I burn out. Since putting recharge time into my routine, my mental health has improved massively. 

 

What does Pride Month mean to you?

Pride Month is an opportunity to celebrate and be proud of who I am and my identity. Pride Month is important to me because it took me a long time to work out who I am but to also live life as my true, authentic self. For me, it's a celebration of who I am but also how far I’ve come. Also, I like to take the opportunity to remember Pride’s history and the people that paved the way for Pride to exist. 

 

What has your experience as an autistic person in the LGBTQ+ community been like?

It has been interesting. I know that is an unusual word to use to describe my experience but it fits. 

Growing up, I knew I wasn’t romantically interested in males yet I kept forcing myself to try because maybe it was me? It felt like something was ‘broken’ inside me because I really didn’t understand how people could be romantically interested in men. 

There was no positive representation of LGBTQ+ people in the media. I think this lack of representation impacted me because I didn't know it was okay to be a lesbian. School really reinforced this. Words such as ‘lesbian’ and ‘gay’ were used as insults. It took me a long time to listen and accept myself and to start living my life. 

Even when I knew my sexuality, I kept second guessing myself. I didn’t come out until my early 20s because of this. Even though, deep down, I have known my sexuality since around the age of 11. 

Once I had worked out my sexuality, I started to think about my gender identity. That is a whole other aspect of my identity I need to unpack and a journey I am still on. Working out my identity has been hard. I feel like I’m a people pleaser so to actually identify and be my true self is hard because I feel like I’m being inconvenient to other people. I know that isn’t true but it makes working everything out and being my true self harder. I know I’ll get there in the end. 

 

In some of your TikTok videos, you share your love for sensory activities. Can you tell us more about the activities you enjoy and why they help you?

I love sensory activities because although I am hypersensitive at times, I also love to sensory seek! Sensory activities allow me to do this whilst having fun and being creative. They help me feel calm, grounded and they also make me happy. I love to be able to create a sensory activity and share it with my TikTok audience so they can make it at home with their friends and family. Just thinking about that makes me really happy! 

My favourite sensory activity has to be creating sensory bottles. This is a bottle with dyed water, glitter and any other decorations you fancy. When you move the bottle, the glitter and decorations catch your eye and make you feel calm but also excited because of the colours. 

Just recently, I was on CBBC’s Blue Peter creating a sensory activity whilst talking about my experiences as an autistic person. This was an incredible moment in my life and it felt great to share my experiences with everyone on such a renowned children’s TV show. I put my heart into that episode and put the representation I would have wanted to see as a child into the show. I believe representation matters and is so important, especially from autistic people themselves.

 

Stimming can help autistic people to control sensory input and can be a great way to relieve stress and anxiety. Do you stim and is it helpful?

I have stimmed ever since I can remember but I wasn’t aware what I was doing or why. As a child, I often liked to touch certain materials. For example, I liked to press down on the creases of my sheets as this would help me feel calm. I used to growl all the time (I still do) especially if I was upset or annoyed. When I was a teenager, my stimming turned into shaking my leg as a way to express anxiety and stress. I also used to shake my hands to express all sorts of emotions! 

Since being diagnosed as autistic, I do stim more but I know this is due to unmasking and being myself. During lockdown, I discovered the magic of vocal stimming. I often make different noises to express happiness and excitement as well as still growling when I’m annoyed. Also, I stim by slowly spinning around and tapping my fingers together. 

Stimming has really helped me! It allows me to express myself and emotions. I feel less overwhelmed and tense if I stim. Often, after a busy day as a student nurse, I will finish my shift, go home and let out a load of stims. I honestly feel like I’m shaking off the stress, tiredness and masking of the day. This really helps me feel more connected to the world and my body. 

 

Do you think LGBTQ+ spaces and parades can better accommodate autistic people with noise sensitivity? If so, how?

I do believe LGBTQ+ spaces and Pride parades could better accommodate not only autistic people but disabled and neurodivergent people in general. Pride and LGBTQ+ spaces are inaccessible for a lot of people for a variety of different reasons. Whether that’s access, sensory aspects or just a lack of variety in LGBTQ+ spaces. 

I have been to several Prides and they’re always very loud and incredibly busy. They are hard to cope with which is upsetting because I want to attend and be proud of who I am but the actual attending and sticking it out is so hard. If it wasn’t for the bright colours, I’d be out of there. I have had to stop attending Brighton Pride due to it being so incredibly busy, cramped and overwhelming. Last time I attended, I had multiple panic attacks and I can’t put myself through it anymore. 

Last year I attended a smaller, local Pride event. It was a family event and it was great. I believe there should be a variety of environments for LGBTQ+ spaces and Pride events. Pride parades are great if you can access them but there should be smaller events held more regularly in a variety of spaces to allow people to attend the event they feel best suits them. Pride and LGBTQ+ spaces should be organised with disabled and neurodivergent people in mind. Right now, this is not the case. 

Pride is about celebrating who you are. A safe space for people to be proud. Yet, disabled people can’t attend due to the events being inaccessible. That’s not acceptable. LGBTQ+ spaces can be more accommodating but the options out there are few and far between currently.

One of my favourite spaces to attend is LGBTQ+ bookshops. They are quiet. The staff are always really friendly and I love books! It is a lot better sensory-wise for me. I would like to see more spaces and events like this open that are quieter. A space to meet other LGBTQ+ people without the loud music, cramped spaces and often drinking-related theme. 

 

We love your ‘day in the life of a student nurse’ videos! Can you talk to us about why you wanted to become a nurse?

I wanted to become a nurse for several reasons. As an autistic person, I do have a lot of empathy and I really care for people. These characteristics are naturally what makes a good nurse. I like to work in environments that are challenging but also at times busy. I like to be hands-on, doing things. This helps me avoid under-stimulation which I have found I struggle with in previous jobs. 

Most importantly, I want to be a nurse to support children like myself growing up. As a teenager, I was often in and out of general hospital with mental health difficulties and also spent a year in mental health hospitals too. I want to be able to support children who are going through similar things. Although I learnt some good coping skills in hospital and it kept me safe, hospital as a child was mostly a negative, traumatic time in my life. I want to be the nurse I needed when I was going through a hard time. I want to show compassion, non-judgment, provide good care and listen to children who are struggling. I want to support them as much as I can, which is an approach that was sometimes lacking in the care and support I received. 

 

Find out more 

Follow Cheryl’s TikTok page.

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Read more stories from the Spectrum here.